


Remember

by amandateaches



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breakup, F/M, Fluff, Indecision, Mark of Cain (Supernatural), Post-Mark of Cain (Supernatural), Reconciliation, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27083749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amandateaches/pseuds/amandateaches
Summary: After breaking up with Dean, a bittersweet anniversary rolls around. You prepare to spend it using wine to help forget, but the arrival of the past at your doorstep changes things.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & You, Dean Winchester/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Remember

**Author's Note:**

> This is for @supernatural-jackles SPN Bi-Weekly Writing Challenge. I used 8 of the prompts. It’s also for a request @deans-baby-momma made for my Writer + Reader Challenge with the prompt “I am not losing you again.”

It took you three glasses of wine to get any kind of relief, but, after downing the last lingering drops of your bottle, you were finally starting to feel a little numb. Although, truth was, you sincerely doubted that was all the wine’s doing. You’d been pretty numb coming in. You were every year when this day came around, even after all this time.

Your anniversary. The day Dean had told you he loved you and wanted to be with you. The day your lives had forever been changed. And, now, the day that made you numb. 

Because, it wasn’t really your anniversary. Not anymore. It hadn’t been since the day he’d walked out. The day he’d let you go.

~

It had been three days since they found Charlie. Three days and Dean hadn’t said a word.

You were trying to give him space, time to come to terms with the shock. You knew he blamed himself, they both did, Sam for calling her for help, and Dean for…well, everything.

Sam had begun to open up. You were like a sister to him, and he found comfort in that, but Dean put up his walls, walls you hadn’t seen since before you’d started dating. After a few more days of long drives and bottles of whiskey, you’d had enough.

“Dean, talk to me. I know you’re hurting, but we can get through this together. I know how you feel…”

That did it. He slammed his tumbler down, the whiskey sloshing over the sides. His voice was curt, hard, filled with none of the love you’d grown to expect. “You have no idea how I feel.”

You tried to reach your hand out to his, but he shrugged it away, turning his back. “Stop it, Y/N. You can’t help me.”

“Of course I can,” you insisted, standing your ground and moving to face him. “We’re partners, remember? The Mark isn’t stronger than that.”

“It’s stronger than everything!” he yelled, so forcefully you had to take a step back. His gaze softened when he registered your reaction, but he quickly hardened it again, shutting himself off from you. “This isn’t going to work anymore.”

You tried to process his words, shaking your head. “No, it will, Rowena will figure it out.”

Dean shook his head. “That’s not what I meant, Y/N.”

A sense of foreboding flooded through you, and you rushed to deny it. “What, us? You can’t.”

You tried to go to him, but he crossed his arms, holding you back. “Loving me is a death sentence, one I won’t let you risk.”

~

Those were the last words he ever said to you. He left that night, refusing to return your phone calls. By the time Rowena had found a way to remove the mark, you were the one who had left.

You left the life, found an apartment, tried to move on. You managed to find a way not to think about him all the time anymore, but it was impossible on a day like this.

Deciding the wine wasn’t doing enough to chase away the past, you set it down, standing to search for something stronger. That’s when you heard the knock on the door.

Assuming it was just a package, you ignored it, but they knocked again, more insistently this time. “Okay, I’m coming!” you yelled out, rolling your eyes at the interruption in your wallowing.

Whispering under your breath, you walked towards the door. “Whatever it is better be important…”

“Y/N, it’s me. Open up.”

Dean. A million thoughts ran through your head at the exact same time. Confusion, excitement…anger. Your whole body went into defense mode, stiffening. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”

You could hear his hand make contact with the door again, but it was softer this time, lingering in the heaviness of his pause.

“Please, I just need you to do this one thing for me.”

That just made you even angrier. “You need me?! Well, that’s just great for you, Dean, but what about when I needed you?” You shook your head, refusing to let him in. “Go away.”

Another pause, this time filled with a regretful sigh. “You can’t ignore me forever, Y/N. Please, just let me explain.”

You opened your mouth to deny him, but his words still held power. A pull you couldn’t resist, and you suddenly ached for him. Opening the door, you tried to hide just how much the mere sight of him affected you. “You have five minutes.”

The smirk that spread across his face made you question your decision almost immediately. “Don’t make me kick your ass, Dean.”

He chuckled, following you further into the main room. Instinctively, he began scoping the place out, his eyes landing on a pair of men’s boots just inside the door. “Are you…dating anyone?”

You almost laughed at the way his voice cracked, raising and dropping an octave with alarm. You thought about reassuring him, but it wouldn’t have been as fun that way. “Maybe. I don’t owe you an explanation.”

Looking back, you caught the hurt that flashed through his eyes, and you instantly felt guilty. “No, Dean, I’m not dating anyone.” His relief was practically audible, his whole body sagging. “They’re my roommates. He’s at his girlfriend’s for the night.”

“Oh,” he muttered, shuffling his feet awkwardly. That time, you really did laugh.

“Oh? That’s all you have to say?”

“No,” he rushed out, still stumbling like he was a teenager on a first date. “No, I just, good. That’s good.”

You rolled your eyes, smiling in spite of yourself. “What the hell are you doing here, Dean?”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d remember, but today…”

You cut him off, firmly. “I’m fully aware of what day it is, Dean. Just answer the fucking question.”

His face dropped at the venom in your voice, crestfallen. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see me, but I wanted to see you. The Mark…it’s gone.”

What were you supposed to say to that? No contact after all this time, and that’s all he had to say to you? Fine, you’d return his vaguity with some of your own. “Congratulations, I guess. Is that it?”

He took in the empty bottle of wine on your table, raising an eyebrow. “So, our anniversary, huh?”

“I’m pretty sure it only counts as an anniversary if we’re still dating, Dean.” You spat the words at him, clenching your fists. “Your five minutes is almost up. Just say what you came here to say.”

He bit his lip, nodding and taking a step towards you. “Okay, cards on the table time. I miss you.”

You inhaled sharply, frustration rising inside you. “Dean…”

“Too little, too late, I know.” Another step closer. “I should’ve come after you the day you left, stopped you from ever leaving, but I…the Mark. I wasn’t good for you with it. I wasn’t me with it.”

“I know, I know, ‘loving you is a death sentence’, right? Let me guess, you were trying to protect me. I didn’t need protecting, Dean, I needed you.”

“I was an idiot, okay? I’m even more of an idiot for waiting this long to tell you. I get that.” He took a moment to stare at you, long and hard, a confident grin materializing. “But, I also know you love me. Even after all this time, I can still see it written all over your face.”

You tried to deny it. “Dean, I don’t know…”

He was so close to you now, you could feel the heat radiating off of him, even through all the layers of his shirts. It was like a damn magnet, and the intensity of his stare didn’t help. “Really, Y/N?” he whispered, brushing the tips of his fingers up your arm. “Because, I know. I love you. I never stopped, not for a second.” His fingers moved to your neck and up to your hair, featherlight, but, to you, it felt like a trail of fire, a fire your body practically craved after all this time. “I’ve thought about you every second of every day, about what it’d be like to see you again. Now that I have, I have absolutely no intention of leaving.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from leaning into his touch, your eyes closing softly. “I’m not going to lie, Dean. Of course I miss you. God, how could I not? But, does that even matter?”

“It’s all that matters,” he swore sincerely, anchoring his hand behind your neck to tug you even closer. “We found each other. That’s all that matters. I know I screwed up, but I swear, I’ll never hurt you like that ever again. I am not losing you again.”

Your eyes dropped to his lips, but you still hesitated. He was making circles with his finger at the base of your hair, driving you crazy, so you drew in a breath. It didn’t go unnoticed.

“You feel it, Y/N, I know you do. I love you and you love me. All you have to do is give us a chance. Give me a chance.” He leaned down, stopping just inches from your lips. “I dare you to kiss me.”

The way he said it was teasing, suggestive, but completely heartfelt. You knew he was waiting for you, for your consent. If you said no, he’d leave right now and never bother you again. But, you didn’t want him to leave.

“Dammit, Dean,” you whispered, a half second before you closed the distance, sealing your lips to his. It was a kiss filled with memories of the past and with promises of the future, filled with love and filled with forgiveness. You knew you wouldn’t be able to just pick up right where you left off, that it’d take time to rebuild that trust, but this? This felt right.

And, that was a damn good start.


End file.
